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Frequently asked questions

My kids are not going to take over the family business so I needed a place to store my stuff. I have a lot of stuff.

You make it sound like that’s a bad thing. Of course this is a vanity project. Do you have a place for all your stuff? Maybe you need a website too.

Tom Seaver and Rusty Staub. Seaver was a strong, quiet leadership presence that I’ve tried to emulate in my life. Staub was a successful player with an atypical baseball body. It made me think that even I could become a baseball player. Ha!

There are several Major League parks I like. Fenway for the history. PNC for the majestic view of downtown Pittsburgh. CitiField for its proximity to Shea Stadium where I grew up. There are lots of minor league parks I’ve enjoyed that offer a slice of history, local culture and great food.

Glad you asked. It starts with a few immutable foundation elements. It has to be all-beef and grilled, not boiled, and preferably fire-grilled. Brown deli mustard is the only acceptable condiment. (If you put ketchup on your dog, just stop reading now. And go away.) A fresh egg bun is important, but I’ll take “fresh” even if it’s just plain white. That core experience is sacrosanct.

To that we add the perfect toppings, and they don’t have to be fancy. Sauerkraut is a fine standard. You can have your peppers and cheese and chili – whatever. But ketchup- braised onions – at CitiField or any Manhattan push cart – is a major step up. If not those onions, then coleslaw. The only place where I’ve found a nearly perfect hot dog was at Hunnicutt Stadium in Princeton, West Virginia. You can’t take anything away from the Appalachian League.

That’s an odd question. Am I supposed to answer Opening Day? I’m not big on holidays – they’re just days – so my favorite is probably Groundhog’s Day. It’s the epitome of the ridiculousness of giving special meaning to a day.

Nah, I’m not much into large rodents. Smaller rodents, though, they’re okay. I like squirrels, mostly because they are great noun replacements in fortune cookies. Also moose (mooses? meese?) And up until I just said that, I did not make the connection to Rocky and Bullwinkle. I suppose that says a lot. So I’ll add a third – penguins. Creating a flightless bird shows that some higher power has a sense of humor.

No. NO! Not yet. Maybe never. As long as my fingers can reach the keys, I’ll be writing something, somewhere. Just like sharks will die if they don’t keep moving, so do writers if they don’t keep writing. They’ll have to drag me out to the shuffleboard courts, kicking and screaming.

No. Nobody will want to read my memoirs. I do plan to write about the early history of fantasy baseball. Everyone is going to want to read that, lol. (Shrugs shoulders, imagines a print run of about 50, sold only to stalkers. Goes to take a nap.)